The house was still and quiet in the dark of an early morning. The vibration of Ian’s alarm enticed me out of sleep before the song ever started. He brushed my face gently with his hand, “Codi, are you going to get up?”
I shook my head and murmured my displeasure at needing to be awake at 6:15 on a Saturday morning—every Saturday morning. I felt a brief heaviness overcome me, not of exhaustion but of guilt. The self-inflicted sort of guilt all parents feel when they choose themselves—or anything—over their kids. But I’ve been at the parenting game long enough to know I wasn’t about to win the World’s Worst Mom title for missing one soccer game. Okay, it was the third game in a row, but still!
Regardless of how I was feeling about it, my daughter was still sound asleep beside me and had made it very clear the night before that she did NOT want to go to soccer in the morning. I thought I would let the beast—uh, I mean my little girl—sleep. Satisfied with my decision I closed my eyes.
But as parenting goes, I was wrong. My daughter woke up just before 7 AM and begged for us to get up and go to soccer. “Please Mommy! I really want to go.” So up we got. I was thankful for her enthusiasm and her push to get us out to the game. However there was a catch. Our late wake-up meant we were going to have to meet my husband and son at the field. It doesn’t sound like a big deal. Families go their separate ways and meet up at events all the time. But just as we were scrambling to get ourselves organized and Ian was walking out the door with our son, I stopped them. “Wait! What about getting down to the field?”
We both rolled our eyes at the state of the wheelchair access and the 15-month long battle with our township to get it remedied. Usually we show up to the field together or Ian is there to help me down. But today he would be on the field coaching by the time we got there so if we decided to go, I’d be doing it on my own. Well, I already said I was coming and although access was sketchy, I could manage it—it would be fine.
Maybe you can guess where this is going. It wasn’t fine. I made it down over the first uneven curb, onto to the gravel and over the raised crosswalk. But as I made my attempt at the second uneven curb, the gravel below got the best of me and I went down…hard!
If you’ve been around here for awhile you know my favourite thing about being out in the world is bringing attention to myself and my disability—I love to make an entrance. If you haven’t been around here for awhile, I should let you know, that was sarcasm.
But there I was, on the ground, attracting a nice-sized crowd of mostly strangers. Because believe me when I tell you that a person falling out of their wheelchair gets noticed. As does the wheelchair access path that, as an able-bodied person, you would probably never even see. And to say people were appalled was an understatement.
My Battle for Access
Shortly after my son started playing soccer in September 2018, I contacted our township. They were making changes at the park and when construction started, they removed the accessible path to the field—even that path wasn’t perfect but at least it wasn’t dangerous. They left no way for me, or any other wheelchair user, to safely and independently access the soccer fields.
Interim Solution
The first time I called I was told it would only be a couple of weeks. After a couple of months, I tried again. After two or three unreturned voicemails, I managed to speak to the man-in-charge (except he wasn’t really in charge). I got feigned attempts at understanding and no real answers about what the access would be when construction was complete. But he did offer an interim solution until the permanent access point was put in, in time for Fall he said: they would construct a temporary bridge from the parking lot to the field that would be put in place at the end of each work day and on weekends. It was actually perfect. And it was in place for two weeks—then it disappeared, never to be seen again. The soccer season ended.
Connections Count
When we showed up to the field in September 2019, now with two boys in soccer, it was clear their fall deadline wasn’t going to happen. So I called again and was given no real solution. It wasn’t until we were at the township for a burn permit in October and we happened to know the woman helping us that we made some progress. She commiserated with me and then connected us to another man-in-charge (the real one? Your guess is as good as mine). But this guy seemed different. He actually seemed to care that I wanted to get my boys to soccer and that public spaces should have equal access. He didn’t make me feel as though I was wasting his time. He was willing to meet me at the field. He cared.
There’s A Plan
Of course he consulted with the first man-in-charge and my input was deemed unnecessary. They had a plan and, in all fairness, it wasn’t a bad plan. There would be a path from the parking lot, over a raised crosswalk to a path on the other side that would lead to the fields. They were even going to move the accessible parking spots from across the parking lot over to the path. Ok great. But when?
Now I can’t remember exactly when the raised crosswalk was poured. But it was a glorious day when we showed up and saw it there. Until we got closer and realized they didn’t pour the path on either side. Instead it was left full of gravel and dirt with hugely uneven curbs—wheelchair access at its finest (insert eye roll). That’s how it stayed for weeks.
Finally Paved
It took three days—well, 15 months and three days. I sent an e mail to the township on Sunday night about my fall the day before and the safety concerns of the path. I also may have mentioned the group of witnesses horrified by the wheelchair access. Lo and behold, the path was paved by Wednesday.
Don’t Wait For An Accident To Make A Change
Many times, the changes that need to happen to create access are not complicated—the path for instance was all of 10 feet long. But they also aren’t prioritized and sometimes get caught up in bureaucratic red-tape—leaving only the people who need access, frustrated and ostracized.
The sad thing is, change can happen quickly. It happens when someone gets hurt and the threat of a lawsuit or public backlash is high. Stop waiting. Don’t wait to pave the path until somebody falls. Don’t wait to install the ramps until after the fire alarms go off and the people in wheelchairs have to go the long way around to get out safely or—sadly—don’t get out at all.
Guys, I’ve told you before, I’m not a great advocate. I don’t call, call and call again or go out getting petitions signed. I don’t contact the newspaper or create a scene—except when I fall out of my chair at the soccer game—but I do believe in universal access—for inclusion and for safety. So I try.
If you are in a position to make a change then I hope you will start to heed the warnings. Think preventatively and create access before something goes wrong. Be a leader in your community and your industry to help make the world accessible for everyone.
2 comments
Cody, my son was 16 years old when he was injured on the Amtrak 501 that derailed on 12-18-2017. The train was going too fast, speeding and never made the bridge, all the cars derailed. My son was in car #4 that rolled completely upside down onto the interstate. He sustained C-4 C-5 C-5 spinal cord injury. The other boy on the train, Tyler, was 20 years old and sustained a brain injury and nerve damage in his left arm. He suffers from sever depression.
My son, Timmy Brodigan, was an athlete. He is 18 years old now, and is still living in Denver Colorado and under care of Craig Spinal Cord Hospital. It has been 2 years since he has been home to Seattle, Washington. He is trying to walk, but it is a very slow process. I am here at rehabilitation with him daily and he goes to High School at Craig Hospital. There are so many young adults who have spinal cord injuries like Timmy. I see what there go through everyday, the struggles….I can’t exactly know what they feel, but I see what this cruel injury has done to their lives and it is really heart wrenching! It is so painful, I cry for them, I have dreams about these kids, I feel just as trapped at they do, because I can’t do anything to cure them. It has taken over my life, I search the world for a cure everyday. I talk to researcher after researcher. I will pray for you, Cody. I did get some information from researcher Dr. Dan Lamertse here at Craig Hospital, it is all the “scope” trials that are offered. I can send you the 20 pages of world wide trials offered for spinal cord. If you want I can scan a copy to you if you want. This is going to be a promising year! Research is really moving forward for a cure.
Well, I’m sorry you had to fall out in the gravel to get the right outcome in this situation! Been there, done that and it’s not fun. Does attract plenty of looks, but they’re usually not the ones that can do anything about it. I’m not a crazy advocate either, but I also don’t hesitate to point out something that is really wrong – an uneven drop off at the bottom of a ramp, a doctor’s office without a wheelchair scale where they want to “guess” your weight, the “accessible” hotel room with tons of things out of reach….. I’ll get somebody and point them all out. Sometimes it works and sometimes not. You’re right – sometimes it’s an easy fix, too. I was in a hotel room recently and brought them in to show the horribly high bed and my short (well it’s regular sized) wheelchair and just looked at them in puzzlement. They went and talked to people, asked me to wait in the lobby for a bit and when my husband and I went back in it was about 20″ and perfect! They just took the box springs out from the bottom. I’ve never had anybody do that. Sometimes they just don’t get it until it’s pointed out.
My issue with myself is I’ve always been a wheelchair user and way before the ADA was in effect, I didn’t think things like that were wrong either. Of course I noticed if something didn’t work well for me (or was dangerous for that matter), but I figured that’s the way things were. I even worked at an office where the bathroom door was too little for me and just went on my lunch hour across the street to a restaurant with a big bathroom! I rented an apartment out of college where I couldn’t fit through the door and I just purchased a child’s wheelchair that could fit and would transfer to it, go through the door, transfer back out when I was done. Yikes! I would never do any of those things now, but I just didn’t see that it was wrong. Even though it’s the law now, there are plenty of things that are not accessible or equal. But, I guess I feel since I didn’t see it for so long maybe it needs to be pointed out more to people to bring about awareness. I truly don’t know why I didn’t see the inequality – maybe because I wasn’t able-bodied to begin with and had it taken away….I don’t know. Still blows my mind. But, I’m trying to make up for it now – because it’s the right thing to do and also because we need to be included in a safe & equal way.