To My Husband at the Holidays: I Couldn’t Do It Without You

Dear Husband,

After a long day of marathon Christmas shopping and gift wrapping—the kitchen table still covered in forogtten scraps of paper and empty wine glasses—we headed to bed. You turned off the Christmas tree lights and dealt with the dogs while I checked on our sleeping children and made sure the house was locked. We were both exhausted from the crowds and you—more than me—were annoyed we skipped the gym to get our shopping done (well, mostly done). But as we laid down beside one another in the silence our dark room—beside you being the only time I’m comfortable in a dark room—you thanked me. 

Thank-you for making Christmas so special for our family. Our holiday is what it is because of you.

I thanked you but know you noticed how I brushed off the compliment because this is just what I do. I love the holidays. It brings a sense of peace and magic to my otherwise anxiety-fuelled life. There is an overwhelming sense of stability for me during Christmas that I want to immerse my family in. So I organize with the hope that not only they feel it, but I do too. But here’s the thing, I couldn’t do any of it without you.

I am neither Superwoman or Supermom. I cannot pull everything off on my own and still be a functioning and happy human—nor would I want too. We work because we work together. You are the one who baked cookies last night for one classroom celebration as I was working on a different project. You are the one who gets the kids ready to go out when I’m getting myself organized. You are the one who goes and gets in line early for Santa so we don’t have to wait as long. You are the one who will do anything that needs done to make our holidays happen.

You may not be the one who organizes our traditions, follows our social calendar, makes sure the gifts are fair or remembers who needs a Santa hat on a particular day, but I couldn’t execute any of our holiday shenanigans without your willingness to help. And when I woke up today to more memes about husband’s not lifting a finger around the holidays—you know you’ve seen them—I didn’t want to be silent about it.

You and I, we share half-hearted thank-yous on the daily. There is a lot of quick appreciation when you pick something up from the store or when I finally clear the pile of clothes off of our bathroom floor—my second closet. Maybe one of us changes the laundry over or empties the dishwasher simply because it needs done. However, you thanking me for creating a special holiday was the genuine, heart-felt type of appreciation that comes when you truly notice the time and energy that is involved in something.

I love you for noticing. But, more importantly, I love you for being in the holiday trenches with me. For shopping, wrapping, baking and participating willingly. Not only are you helping to create the type of holiday memories our kids will cherish, you are the greatest example to our children of what it means to be a partner. 

And now, with that all out of the way, bring on Christmas break 2019. We are ready, thanks to both of us. It won’t be perfect—it never is—but it will be ours.