It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything – my longest stretch of silence since I started this blog. I could say it was because the holidays were busy (because they were) or that my time and attention had been stretched thin (which they have) but both answers would just be excuses. The truth is, I haven’t written anything lately because I have become a bit lost inside of myself and the thought of putting a magnifying glass up to the inner-workings of my brain over the last few weeks sounded more like torture than comfort. Looking ahead to January brought me a lot of anxiety and my initial introductions to 2018 have been strained. It feels as though I’m meeting a friend-of-a-friend. It’s someone I should trust but I am unsure of their intentions. I had trust in 2017; it allowed me growth and left me and my family safe. 2018 is unknown and I am skeptical.
When the calendar moves forward to a new year there is always hope that our lives will be refreshed. Like when you refresh your web browser, it’s the same screen just reloaded and, ideally, void of the problems you experienced before. While I think we know that the year will change and the world will remain the same, waking up on January 1 to see that everything is just as it was on December 31 can feel slightly disappointing – as though a small part of you hoped that, just maybe, the world would come to its senses overnight or your own challenges would all of a sudden seem smaller. However, with that disappointment comes the realization that nothing changes without putting in effort.
So we make resolutions and goals and think to ourselves that this is the year that will be different. But I think a big component of setting resolutions and making goals for a new year is realizing that the challenges you have continually been faced with aren’t going anywhere and in order to overcome them, you have to get creative, because if you don’t get creative, nothing will change.
Personally, the beginning of 2018 is presenting me with a lot of challenges: some of which I’m well versed in but a few new ones have surfaced to keep it interesting. I had the best intentions of meeting these challenges with strength and grace. But even the best plans sometimes fail. And although these past few weeks have been more anxious and tearful than strong and graceful, I’m determined to get creative and work around these pitfalls. I’m determined to work on my goals and myself. I’m determined to start writing again and share where I succeed and where I fail. I’m determined to befriend 2018. I hope you’ll follow along and see if I’m successful.
10 comments
Best of all to you for the new year!
I hope 2018 will see you filled with life, love and joy🥂
Thanks Codi for this post. It was encouraging to read it. Good to know I wasn’t the only one who finds this time of year challenging.
Athena
Thanks for reading. You are definitely not alone
As a SCI survior also I dreaded this year. Scared of what this new year would hold for me. The girl standing on the outside looking in and not knowing where I fit in. Your words are encouraging thank you.
Codi so glad you are writing I certainly missed your words of wisdom ,honesty and humor. I can relate to your concern of what is to come, it is true for a lot of us. I like your heading I changed it for myself New Year. New Challenges. New Goals. Same ” Old ” Man. I too need to change how I handle life’s ups and down. Thank you very much for your thoughtful words
I love your honesty. Being okay with struggling, knowing that you’re not always alright and being open about it – in a world where the standard reply is ‘I’m good thank you’, is refreshing. People like you are opening channels for honest conversations that may go a long way to helping those in our communities who are perhaps not coping as well as they could. xxx
Codi – On behalf of my daughter, myself and I am sure all of your followers, I want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for all that you have been so honest to share.
You have shown so many of us, that when life changes in a negative way, it is not all bad. Positives can still be found and a great life can still be had. When my daughter was first injured and we got the terrible news, at first it was like life was over. Gradually through you and people like you, we saw that things can be close to normal and great things can still be accomplished. Once again, thanks Codi and your family for all that you have shown us.
I hope that you can continue to be strong and to inspire people who find themselves in unfamiliar places for many years to come. Codi, for my daughter and I, YOU ROCK GIRL.
If there is one thing that we would love to see you write on, it would be fashion for the wheelchair user. You always look so amazing and lovely in your outfits.
Wow! Thank you so much for your kind words. It means a lot that you took the time to write this. I will contemplate the fashion post :). All the best to you and your daughter.
Thanks for your honesty in this and all your posts. I just found a fascinating blog about a guy who takes photos from his perspective in his wheelchair. I love writing because it’s my creative outlet. We all need these to keep our spirits up, so I’m glad you’re writing again.