It’s fall. I get that this isn’t some big revelation, we’ve all seen the date. But my internal seasonal clock tends to be a bit ahead of the game, and I’ve been in fall mode for a few weeks. When the mood hits, my hair goes dark, I remove the ice from my coffee, and, voila, fall!
With the shift this year came the realization that it’s been a solid six months since I’ve connected in this space. Week-after-week I thought about writing something here and, week-after-week, I ignored those thoughts. Then I chastised myself. How could I let so much time pass? Why was I neglecting the place where writing is simple? What is wrong with me? You know, all the usual negative self-talk that chips away at confidence and motivation until you’re left feeling like you have nothing to offer and you’re failing at everything. I think we can all agree that it’s the most unhelpful kind of internal dialogue. However, today, I am here. Taking a minute to say hello.
Before you commend me for my effort, know that I skipped the gym this morning. A win here, a loss there, all of it combining to help me find my groove as we really settle into the last quarter of 2022. Because that’s what September always is for me, a transition month.
There is no other time of year where I need an entire month to transition from one season to the next. No other time of year where the change in weather, schedules, priorities, mental health, and coffee orders requires four weeks for me to acclimate enough that I feel settled. For the most part, I’ve come to embrace it. After years of falling apart mid-way through September, I’ve learned to understand that I just need to keep working through it and October will come. And it will feel easier.
Still, every season has its challenges and this one is no different. It has been a hot mess of a two years and I feel like we are all peeking around the corner of the future, poking at it like some unidentified object, trying to find our bearings and decide if we can trust it. But even with the uncertainty, I know there are good things on the horizon.
For me, it’s exciting house projects, writing webinars, the potential for a vacation outside of Canada, and the idea of finally getting my memoir completed. There will be chaos and creativity. There will be relaxation and celebration. And, of course, there will be lots and lots of driving my children places and waiting in the car as they pursue their own passions. I’m still not quite ready for all of it, but I’m getting there.
My advice to my son last night was to find something that grounds him when he starts to feel that life is twisting his stomach and shaking up his thoughts. I told him to know where he can go to steady himself. Spending some time here today, was me taking my own advice.
If, like me, you aren’t yet feeling settled into the next season, give yourself time. If my negative self-talk sounds familiar, give yourself a break. And if your stomach is twisting and your thoughts are misaligned, give yourself over to whatever holds you steady.
With that, bring on fall!
